March 28, 2021

I should write about the light

That light that falls upon us everyday but we forget it is there

Blinded by the darkness we look forward and backward forgetting that we are the light

Each one of us is the light

We are made of water and light

What else do we need to know?

Yesterday I swam in cold water, buried in dark thoughts, anger, disappointment, fear, shocked by death’s hold on all of us

I glided, bubbles rising by my two lungs, over delicate grey moon snail nests while cold salt water nestled in close to my heart

I forgot to float, caught up in thoughts so scattered that even swimming could not set them free, but to the bottom I’d have gone if not by the wonder of my arms and legs and beating heart pulling me along, my mind a float buoy detached

Only time and rain and sunlight and the beauty of today, a house full of my loves, my husband, my sons, my niece, my sister, and a bake well tart carefully formed with old and young hands that waited a year for this moment —brought me back to the sea, and all that I missed

Here I found the water again

Here I felt the light of love

And though today is tonight is tomorrow is yesterday I know the light will keep pushing through

Light always get through

And the water will hold me even when I cannot see it or touch it

I am water. I am light.

When I am gone I will remain.

Water and light.